Wednesday, October 17, 2012

A loss is a loss.. Period..

  We made it through the 1st cycle trying.. We saw a BFN, cried a little, but I'd heard of it taking a couple tries.. But I definitely didn't think at that time it would be anymore than 2 cycle, tops.. The time of innocence  if I only I could be there again..

   We pushed steams ahead into cycle #2.. Still gung-ho on things being as natural as possible.. I mean I did everything right.. My pre-conception exam came back all gravy, I was pin pointing ovulation both coming and going, and I was taking prenatals.. I mean what else do you need outside of that..?? Lol.. Right..

    My August 2011 cycle we again insemed after our positive OPK, waited the recommended 2weeks, but this time "wham" BFP (big fat positive).. We where literally over the moon, and I mean it seemed like literally not figuratively.. We started making so many plans and talking about the hope of it being more than one, then discussing the 3 names we were going to need for the triplets.. I call to make an appointment with my new doc, but he couldn't see me for a couple days.. I wasn't worried though because I mean it happened 2nd try, we where golden.. We went in for out beta, only to find out that the numbers weren't good.. It was a chemical pregnancy or early miscarriage.... 

     Now, I realize I wasn't far along. and we hadn't even seen a heartbeat.. But we were already so vested in the fact that we would have a baby to take home, well have at home, in 9 months..  We were devastated to say the least.. Then to have it dismissed by even my closest friends because I wasn't as far along as they would have liked me to be hurt.. In our eyes " A loss is a loss".. I realized then that my wife and I were embarking on a journey that none of the people in our immediate circle could understand.... 

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