Monday, June 2, 2014

California Dreamin

Today I realized that it has been nearly a year since my last blog posting.. And in that time SOOO much has changed.. I mean nothing really for the better, just different.. The wife and I finally gave up.. We literally did.. Gave up everything we knew and loved, and moved from AZ to Southern California..

From the top, our first few weeks in Cali were brutal.. Every possible thing that could go wrong, did.. Hitting every lump and bump in the road possible.. But we made it through, hence me being here writing this post.. We made our way into some new company, both personal and business.. We met a group of awesome women who'd all been TTC as long or even longer than my wife and I have, and can gladly say that since then they have all gotten pregnant.. Of course, considering the wife and I have the pregnancy touch.. If an infertile or any woman for that matter wants to get pregnant all they need to do is be in our presence for half a second and they'll conceive that cycle, without fail.. But that is neither here nor there, back to the point.. We moved here in the hopes that we would be able to move forward with more extensive fertility treatments (i.e., IVF) with a world class awesome thoughtful and understanding Dr.. And the perks of being able to have both our names on the birth certificate and having 2nd parent adoption be options are amazing as well.. All these high hopes for just a place on the map..

We did do 6 cycles since being here in Cali, all resulting in the same negative outcome.. This brought a sense of realization to our moving here.. We are now trying to find our place.. We are now well aware that moving states was never going to define our journey for us.. It was never intended to make our journey any easier.. We'd just placed way to much weight on our being in a fresh new place.. This new place doesn't change the fact that the wife and I both are dealing with infertility, while still longing for children, and hopelessly trying to fight and scratch our way to have the means to continue towards our dream.. We can now say that we have spent upwards of $35k over the course of 4years on our hopes of trying to become parents.. And being here now would still need an additional almost $9k to continue forward to IVF treatments..

Being that we are both fighters and apparently stubborn, we are taking on the challenge.. I will be picking up my 3rd job this week (2 part-time and 1 full-time), and my wife her 2nd.. We are either glutton for punishment, can't admit defeat or both.. No matter were the road takes us, we are determined to have our dreams come to fruition.. Now more than ever..

I would die for that....

This is a project that we hold dear to hearts, and were more than happy to be a part of.. In this video, that isn't a couple that looks like us.. THAT IS US.. We were blessed to meet, walk, chat, and bond with with some amazingly wonderful people.. All dealing with the struggles Inez and myself have to endure day in and day out.. Really hope you take a few moments to click the link provided and watch.. It seems at times that others may not care about your struggles or want to hear your story while you are in the midst of the storm.. No matter how many years things have been stagnant.. They only want to hear of them once you have made it through to some sort of happier ending.. One more palatable for their lives.. Well truth be told, there aren't always happy endings.. And during the struggle is when they were needed most.. Worst than any one part of this journey, is the isolation and loneliness that is felt.. This project reminds me that we are not alone, no matter how much this world likes to make us think that we are outcasts because we have to :try: for our blessing..